I’m not sure whether I should feel excited about celebrating my birthday later. I’ll be 33 at exactly 6:30 AM, 12 November 2010. For the second time, I’ll be celebrating my birthday without a mother to greet me warmly as soon as I wake up. And I guess I just have to get used to that. I also have to live with the fact now that although wonderful changes had taken place in my marriage, well, my husband’s not around for me to share the day with him. I wish November 13’s my birthday, and not tomorrow.
Why? For one, I get to celebrate a birthday on a Friday the Thirteenth! Yeah, right, as if that matters! Seriously, I just wish it won’t take place soon. Because I am in such a mess right now. I have a deadline to beat, a house to clean the moment I wake up, and a daughter to send to school very early in the morning, when all I want to do is wake up late, have a relaxing day at a spa, get a massage and a milk facial. I’m starting to get tired of being so domesticated. I think I’ve finally ran out of ideas of great meals to serve my daughters–which makes me thankful that they’re not so finicky–and I no longer feel like spending any cent to decorate the house and give it a livelier atmosphere.
I guess I’m just so tired now. I’ve been exhausting myself trying to learn everything I could about the trends now in weddings and wedding planning itself, putting up a website, completing a list of suppliers, and preparing project proposals and contracts. And to make matters worse, the last of the goldfish we have had just died. After nights of having someone dying in my dreams–including myself–it seemed that in the end, it would be that special gold fish that would die. Somehow, I’m not sure if I should be comforted by that thought.
Well, just a few more minutes to go before 12. I don’t want to be sitting in front of my laptop by the time the clock strucks 12. I guess I’d better go to bed now. Good night to me. Happy birthday later to me. I’ll decide later how it feels to be 32 and 33.