A Musing Mom's Tales, Marriage & Raising Girls
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“Mom, at what age would you like me to get married?”

“Mom, at what age would you like me to get married?”

I have a feeling that I should start expecting such questions from them beginning today. Actually, I should have thought of that when my older child asked me yesterday whether she’d get rich when she grows up.

I don’t think they really understand the meaning of marry or marriage, but going back to their question, I answered “30” to my older child A, and “35” to my younger one Z. Why much later for Z? Because she’s younger and so baby-ish that I think it would take a long time before we let her go. As for A, I suppose it’s given–because she’s older, she’d mature faster and would want to leave the nest sooner. And well, I have this feeling that she would want to be independent the soonest possible, so I’d rather brace myself… that doesn’t seem to make sense though, does it?

A gave a follow-up question: the perennial why. Why? Because according to studies, the human brain does not become fully mature until the age 25. And, apparently in the Philippines, couples need parental consent if they marry at the age of 25 and below because of that. Plus, they would need enough time to enjoy their singlehood, attend graduate school, build their careers, and travel to places before they settle down and start having children.

Well, I didn’t exactly tell them those things. But I explained, especially to A, that most of my friends who married late, i.e., 28 and above, were the ones who have very successful careers, financially stable, and have already traveled abroad before tying down the knot. I told her that she shouldn’t get married until she has all those things as well. Because once she’s married, her family becomes her top priority–like me. Everything else takes a back seat. Of course, I had to reassure her that I’m good with what I have now–them–even if I married at 25 although I sometimes wish I had married later for the same reasons I gave her.

After my speech, she declared that she won’t get married until she’s 31 then. As for Z, she didn’t like 35. She preferred 37. Oh, I wish they could both really wait that long!

I added that they shouldn’t think about having a boyfriend until they’re ready to get married. (One of the lessons I learned from Joshua Harris‘s “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and “Boy Meets Girl”.) And so for A, that means no boyfriend until she’s 29 or 30. And she seems okay with it. I just hope her–and her sister’s–decision doesn’t change. Honestly, I’d rather keep them.

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