Month: November 2011

My 34th birthday

I could no longer recall the last time I had as much fun celebrating my birthday as I did yesterday. Although there were some setbacks at the beginning of the day, they were not really that bad. My mother always tried to make sure that she would be the first to greet me on my birthday when she was still alive. She’d be up early and would wait for me to open my eyes then greet me each year until my husband and I moved out of my parents’ house, though she would call me on my cell phone instead… This was the first thing that came into my mind when I woke up. I miss my mother so much! Now that she’s no longer around, her small gesture(s) of making me feel special suddenly seems like the most important thing to me in the world, especially on my birthday! Little did I know, however, that many of my friends had already sent me messages online just after midnight. God certainly knows how to cheer me up! Not to …

Before I turn 34

It’s 11pm, 11th day of the 11th month of year 2011. In short, that’s eight 11’s! Coincidence? Well, only the year, since I normally try to reflect and write the last hour before my birthday every year. I’m trying to examine how I really feel now. And I’m rather surprised that I feel panicky this time. I think about facing God and being told to recount to Him all the things that I have done in my 33 years of existence. It reminds me so much of The Parable of the Talents. I only have one hour left and what have I done so far? More, what else can I do if I were truly to face Him now? Will He tell me that I have been a good and faithful servant and grant me more talents (years, including resources) to live? Or grant me more years to live because I still haven’t accomplished much, thereby giving me some grace period? Well, one thing’s for sure. I still have a lot to accomplish, especially when …

Hello, November!

I could no longer recall the last time I felt excited about this month. I used to count the days and months until November when I was a child, but during the past few years, I just started to dread it. I was born in November, so that explains the excitement I used to feel when the month gets nearer. Plus, the fact that after November, it would soon be Christmas. However, with the marital problems I had in the recent years, including financial difficulties, the death of my mother, estranged relationships with in-laws, moving out of my parents’ house, seeing friends go and change jobs or leave the country, somehow, I started to feel like there’s really nothing to celebrate each year. I just felt alone, save for my children who would find ways to cheer me up every day. Things are still not all well with me now, actually, but my excitement grows, especially with my young daughters counting off the days until the twelfth. I’ve been trying to come up with a plan …