Soon it shall be Christmas. However, instead of feeling giddy about it, excitedly counting the days as I used to do when I was a child, I am now wishing I could postpone it. It would be our third Christmas without my mother and my husband to celebrate with us. Of course, you must already know that my dear mama’s already gone, while my husband is working in another country.
I can’t wait for my husband to celebrate Christmas again with us! I long for the day when time and money would no longer get in the way, when physical distance could easily be bridged… I know I shouldn’t complain because my family is still blessed in so many ways no matter how I look at it. Yes, I am grateful for what we have, for all the things that I have now. It’s just that having hubby with us during the merry month of December would be so much nicer though and that could make my daughters the happiest little girls on Christmas.
I guess my frustration comes from the fact that my husband and I have been planning his Christmas homecoming since July. My excitement had already built up! I thought it would be different this year, that he would finally be home. But when he told me earlier that it would be his younger brother, a diplomat assigned in another Asian country, would visit him before coming home for Christmas and bring us our gifts, well, things just sort of fell apart (again).
Really, the term delayed gratification is becoming more real to me now, hitting me hard in the face. I thought it’s something that I only have to learn and practice in business, but not in my personal life, particularly where my family’s concerned. Listening to my husband’s explanation, it seemed that that’s exactly what he’s trying to say – he has big plans for us next year since we’ll be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary, Little Z’s graduating from preschool and turning seven, and he wants to fulfill some of the things in Big A’s wish list, so we’d better save as much money as we could, not to mention the only person who could handle his duties at work in his absence has already filed a long vacation leave from work that includes Christmas and New Year.
Now I realize that I am faced again with the humongous task of making my daughters feel like it’s such a happy Christmas even without Daddy by our side. And my emotional and spiritual maturity is being tested once more.
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If your husband is also working miles away from home,
would you tell me how you cope during Christmas? Thanks 🙂