12.12.12

What’s so remarkable about 12-12-12? Well, for one, there will never be another instance when all the numbers in the calendar and the clock will appear the same. Next, since that makes it rather historical, many people tried to make the best memory out of it, mostly by couples getting married.

I have to admit that I had been planning to do something remarkable, if not memorable, on this day too. I wanted it to stand out in my memory when I look back to this particular day. I remember waking up yesterday feeling so refreshed and excited. My daughters and I went to bed the night before with a clean house and that must have contributed to the energy I had by the following morning. Who doesn’t like waking up to a clean house, anyway? However, just as I tried so hard to keep a positive outlook, I had another encounter with my own Merida (remember the movie “Brave”?). Sometimes, I just couldn’t believe that I have a very willful 9-year old child. If she’s so willful now – and I’m already having difficulties controlling my temper as I deal with her – I wonder how I’ll ever be able to cope with it when she gets older and well, continues to be strong willed.

I try to make it a point to make our mornings free from tantrums and nagging episodes. I want my daughter to get a good start, ensure that her excitement over going to school will not diminish. So far, as a third grader, she still looks forward to coming to school almost every day – something that I don’t remember ever feeling, particularly at that age. I suppose the day didn’t turn out to be as much fun and memorable as I had hoped, but it sure had been memorable nevertheless.

I became very emotional as soon as my eldest daughter left for school and began to reflect on my relationship with my daughters, particularly with my big baby A, or our Merida as my husband would fondly refer to her. I realized that something has to change, that I’m not doing a great job as a mom. I have become too preoccupied with so many things to become more involved in my daughter’s interests and daily activities. More, I have become very tough on her, expecting so many things from her.

Maybe it’s just hormones. Maybe I’m just frustrated that my husband won’t be home again for Christmas. Maybe I’m just stressed for not meeting the goals I’ve set for my own self… Excuses started to crowd my mind, but one thing remains clear: change is needed and it must begin with me. However, that’s not really easy as I try to make it sound; I’ll definitely need help, divine providence.

As I pondered on these things and started to pray, I couldn’t help but feel remorseful and cry. More than anything else, I want my children to be happy, to grow up in a loving family, and be a blessing wherever they go… I remember a motivational speaker telling us that as parents, we should bless our children. The more willful a child is, the more we don’t see eye-to-eye, the more we should bless that child. More, we should make it a point to let the child become more familiar with Bible promises.

I suppose the day turned out to be a memorable one, after all. I had an emotional and spiritual encounter, to say the least. By the time my daughter got home from school, we were both already in good mood. As soon as I opened the gate, she started telling me stories on what happened in school that day.

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