Month: October 2015

When a friend started seeing me as an ATM

I feel rather down lately over the actions of a certain friend. I’ve known her since childhood, but over the years, we lost touch with each other. In the summer just before attending our last year in high school, her mother brought her to the province. I had looked her up in various social media sites, even googled her, several times and also asked a couple of her relatives for her contact information, but I had no success. Finally, in August 2014, I heard from her again. I was so happy that I immediately arranged for our meeting, even if we had already done enough catching up online through Facebook. After all, we used to be very close. She’s funny, sweet, and sensitive, and I’ve always considered her as one of my best buddies. Moreover, when she told me that she had come to know Christ when she was staying in the province, I rejoiced and became more excited to see her again. When the day of our reunion came, I made sure that I left the …

Not quite a mom

It’s Sunday. Instead of having a relaxing evening, I’m nursing disappointment and frustration. This is not how I envisioned any of my days or nights as a mom. When I was younger, I had seen myself as nothing but a nurturing, sweet, loving, and capable mom. Now, however, I question myself whether I am any of those, whether I should have been a mom at all… why God allowed me to be a mom. Lately, I tend to lose my temper at the slightest hint of disrespect and disobedience, and discipline my children, especially my eldest, out of anger. I tend to say harsh words (as opposed to spanking) in my attempt to make her understand that I am very, very displeased with what she had just said or done (or not done). In the end, it would look like I have won and have broken her spirit, but the truth is, it would probably be much easier to contend with a child with a broken bone than one with a broken spirit only to …