All posts tagged: battle

The Battle is the Lord’s

To others, my marriage may seem very pitiful. No matter how hard I try, it seems that things will never be the same again. I only end up hurting myself in the process. Something tells me it’s time for me to move on, with or without my lawful husband. This is another battle for me, much bigger than I ever had before. It’s a recurring issue, and I feel like I’m on the losing end. I’ve nothing else to do but to leave it as well to the Lord’s hands. I shall always count on Him to handle things that are way beyond my control. As much as I try to deal with my husband’s past, his unruly relatives, and my own mistakes, with humility and patience, I feel like there’s nothing else I can do now except become the lady-in-waiting. That is, wait for my husband to come around as I diligently do my roles as a mother and a wife–even without a husband to appreciate me. Looking back, I’ve had issues with God …

Cancer and all

27 July 2009 I felt ashamed of myself for thinking that mama might be gone anytime soon.  This morning, I accompanied her, along with my brother Manny and nephew Adrian, to San Juan de Dios Hospital for her LYNAX session.  As I was waiting for my mother to come out of the radio therapy room, I was seated next to a man who was waiting for his turn to undergo therapy.  I didn’t know at first that he was also a patient.  I was really surprised when the attendant motioned for him to get in.  He looked so healthy and agile, very far from someone who’s battling with cancer.  And I realized just how little faith I’ve had! Mama will get well, and it doesn’t matter now  if her cancer’s already at stage 4.  Who cares, really?  If I had asked God before to give her one more ‘healthy’ year, now I’m bold enough to pray for more years added to her life.  And as I did so, a thought came to me.  Do I think of God as a magician?  Asking Him to conjure something …