All posts tagged: God

Mother’s Day

Yesterday, I was awakened by text messages from both fellow moms and single friends wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day. And as I went online, I realized that just about every person I know had the same message on their walls. Many of them even replaced their profile pictures with their mothers’ faces. I was wondering though, don’t they ever show appreciation toward their mothers except on Mother’s Day? I had also thought about replacing my profile picture with my mother, just like everyone else. However, I decided against it. My reason was simple. One, my mother’s gone. Two, when she was alive, I made sure she knew how much I needed and appreciated her. I don’t have to tell the whole world how much I loved her just because it’s Mother’s Day. Moreover, to my dear friends or people who know me better, my mother had also been a mother to them. They knew I need not join the bandwagon. As I went through the day, I began to think about my late mother and the influence she …

How I met my husband

For Susan Amestoy, may this story merit a space both in your book and website. I’m sorry it took a while for me to write this. I appreciate your patience. To my daughters, yes, this was how I met your father… I was perfectly happy and contented when I met the man who was to be my husband. I was joyfully serving in various ministries at my new church then and I believe he was doing the same. I was determined to enjoy and make every moment of my singlehood worthwhile. Although we belonged to the same church and had noticed each other’s presence, it was not until about a year later that we were formally introduced to one another. We were both attending a small party for church volunteers then and happened to be on the same table. His sister introduced us, but we never really talked. That was August 2001. Months passed before we had the opportunity to get to know each other. Our respective ministries happened to co-sponsor the nightly church service (Simbang …

Leading my child to Christ

One of the most challenging roles that I have to face as a mother is imparting my faith to my children. I am a Christian mom. Yes, I am! But, no, I do not always proclaim this aloud for fear that the unbelievers around me would not take my testimony seriously if they ever witness me sinning. However, what good is being a Christian without shedding Christ‘s light unto the world? Last night, my daughters and I watched “The Passion of the Christ” on our DVD player. However, only my 7-year old girl and I stayed up to watch it; Z, four, dozed off a few minutes after the film started. And to my surprise, my eldest daughter A cried almost the whole time we were watching it. I didn’t realize that the movie would have so much impact to her. Every time the Christ was beaten, she would wail. I was actually afraid that the neighbors might think I was hitting my daughter or something. Well, she sure had a good cry, and her questions just kept on …

Charity in my child’s eyes

“Charity is giving away the things we don’t need to the people who need them… It means helping mom take care of my younger sister and doing house chores… Charity is about loving God and showing love to others.” These were some of the lines that I remember reading from my daughter’s entry to their school’s essay writing contest this afternoon. All along, I thought that she would only be joining the drawing contest although she told me that she wished she could be part of the writing contest as well. I assured her that there would be a time that she would become part of that too, before I meticulously prepared the materials she would need like crayons, new and freshly sharpened pencils, sharpener, and kneaded eraser for the drawing contest this morning. And as I bade her goodbye, I remember telling her this: Enjoy the contest, baby. God bless you! In the afternoon, I decided to come to her school  to see her drawing since parents were not invited to watch their children …

Balancing act

(Image copied from http://www.211sacramento.org/flyer.pdf) I’ve been scouring various websites for more than a year now in search of a decent-paying home-based job that would suit my talents and interests. Finally, I got one recently. It is ironic though that it’s making me lose sight of my priorities, with my children on top. I have to keep reminding myself that I am first and foremost a m-o-t-h-e-r. Honestly, I’m no longer sure at times what it means to be one. It’s like all my dreams of having a small happy family and being the best mom (and wife) in the world had gone out of the windows. All I could think of before I go to sleep, in the middle of my sleep, and right upon waking up is DEADLINE(s). Its red, big, bold letters are always screaming in my head! And to think that I’m the type of person who hates being rushed and/or forced to conform to another person’s schedule or whims, this word could conjure gruesome images before me, especially when I am given …

The Battle is the Lord’s

To others, my marriage may seem very pitiful. No matter how hard I try, it seems that things will never be the same again. I only end up hurting myself in the process. Something tells me it’s time for me to move on, with or without my lawful husband. This is another battle for me, much bigger than I ever had before. It’s a recurring issue, and I feel like I’m on the losing end. I’ve nothing else to do but to leave it as well to the Lord’s hands. I shall always count on Him to handle things that are way beyond my control. As much as I try to deal with my husband’s past, his unruly relatives, and my own mistakes, with humility and patience, I feel like there’s nothing else I can do now except become the lady-in-waiting. That is, wait for my husband to come around as I diligently do my roles as a mother and a wife–even without a husband to appreciate me. Looking back, I’ve had issues with God …

Wedding Planning 101

I was on my way to building my new business, something that I have long been wanting to do: wedding planning. I would no longer be the wedding reception host, someone helping out in the registration, the bridesmaid, or even the bride, but the coordinator behind someone else’s wedding.  However, just when I thought I’ve already got it and my very first client, who also happened to be a good college buddy, and I have already started making some progress, she suddenly called things off. She said she couldn’t refuse her mother who insisted on organizing the whole wedding herself and threatened to disown her if she would not allow her to plan her big day. At first, I was very sympathetic. After all, her siblings were already married and she’s the youngest child. My feelings of sympathy for her turned to bewilderment then disappointment, however, as reality hit me. I tried not to let disappointment get the better of me. And I think, I somehow succeeded in doing that after a lot of praying. There are …

Lessons from my pickpocket experience

Just how many times will it take before I come to realize–and bask in the realization–that I need to be less materialistic and I need to be more careful with how I handle money?  Right–handle!  Literally and figuratively. I remember losing my cellphone on that fateful night in the office.  That was the 4th of February.  And it all seemed to come back again earlier this afternoon when I got hit by the fact that I lost my wallet. I was on my way out of the mall, ready to pick up my daughter in school, when I remembered what a friend told me about the nice blouses on sale at Celine.  Sure enough, I found one that I liked easily.  My head was throbbing with pain, and all I could think of was to pay for it and leave the place the soonest possible.  I sure got to the counter after a minute or so of  struggling with women blocking my path.  The store seemed to have cramped in an instant.  The huge woman, …

Bitter or better?

September 11, 2009. I’m currently reading a Chicken Soup for the Soul edition for moms, which also happens to be a recipe book.  And, as I came across one of the stories, a line simply stuck to my mind:  “In life, you always have a choice.  You either become bitter or better.” Of course, I’d prefer to become better at any given day.  Yet, sad to say, I admit that I can’t help but give in to bitterness at times.  As I see my mother lay in bed, devoid of strength and sometimes even sanity and hope because of cancer, I can’t help but wail to God.  Why her, of all people?  Why my own mother who has always been a pillar of strength to me?  Why her who knew nothing but to give me everything that I need without expecting anything in return?  Why her who took care of me as well as my husband and daughters, especially in times of need? I wonder if it’s God’s way to spite a family member who has theorized …

Cancer and all

27 July 2009 I felt ashamed of myself for thinking that mama might be gone anytime soon.  This morning, I accompanied her, along with my brother Manny and nephew Adrian, to San Juan de Dios Hospital for her LYNAX session.  As I was waiting for my mother to come out of the radio therapy room, I was seated next to a man who was waiting for his turn to undergo therapy.  I didn’t know at first that he was also a patient.  I was really surprised when the attendant motioned for him to get in.  He looked so healthy and agile, very far from someone who’s battling with cancer.  And I realized just how little faith I’ve had! Mama will get well, and it doesn’t matter now  if her cancer’s already at stage 4.  Who cares, really?  If I had asked God before to give her one more ‘healthy’ year, now I’m bold enough to pray for more years added to her life.  And as I did so, a thought came to me.  Do I think of God as a magician?  Asking Him to conjure something …