All posts tagged: Holidays

My first 15 days of the year

“2013 is definitely my year!” It seems like most people I know are saying this, and I am the only one who has not declared it loud and clear yet. We’re just half-way through the first month of the year and I feel like I have not taken a rest yet that I would like to scream! House chores are overtaking me once more and I still need to do some massive re-organizing if I were to be sane for the rest of the year. I have so many records to file and update, people to call and meet… the list is endless that I sometimes no longer want to see my beautiful hard-bound silver organizer – a gift from my sweet husband – as I could easily fill out a week with appointments and things to do in one sitting. Not to mention looking at my lists tends to overwhelm me. Despite the busyness of my days, I feel like I’m not really accomplishing anything. Planting season is such a long time for me, …

Hello, November!

I could no longer recall the last time I felt excited about this month. I used to count the days and months until November when I was a child, but during the past few years, I just started to dread it. I was born in November, so that explains the excitement I used to feel when the month gets nearer. Plus, the fact that after November, it would soon be Christmas. However, with the marital problems I had in the recent years, including financial difficulties, the death of my mother, estranged relationships with in-laws, moving out of my parents’ house, seeing friends go and change jobs or leave the country, somehow, I started to feel like there’s really nothing to celebrate each year. I just felt alone, save for my children who would find ways to cheer me up every day. Things are still not all well with me now, actually, but my excitement grows, especially with my young daughters counting off the days until the twelfth. I’ve been trying to come up with a plan …

Things I miss about my mother

“Happy 72nd birthday, Nanay!” It felt a little awkward for me to see those words written on the birthday cake my eldest brother bought for our late mother. (Even though she’s no longer around, we still continue to celebrate her birthday.) I wanted to see a candle too, and the celebrant blowing that lighted candle. But neither was present. Sometimes I wonder if there will ever come a time when I would no longer miss my mother and forget her features, her mannerisms, the sound of her voice, and everything else that I know about her. Not that I hated my mother, but I am very curious how some people seem to live as if they never had a mother. In my case, there’s not a single day that I have not thought of my mama–be it voluntarily or not. Lately, I have been musing about what I should have said when I was asked–impromptu–at her funeral about the things that I would miss about her. I said a lot of things then, but nothing …

32 years and a few minutes

  I’m not sure whether I should feel excited about celebrating my birthday later. I’ll be 33 at exactly 6:30 AM, 12 November 2010. For the second time, I’ll be celebrating my birthday without a mother to greet me warmly as soon as I wake up. And I guess I just have to get used to that. I also have to live with the fact now that although wonderful changes had taken place in my marriage, well, my husband’s not around for me to share the day with him. I wish November 13’s my birthday, and not tomorrow.   Why? For one, I get to celebrate a birthday on a Friday the Thirteenth! Yeah, right, as if that matters! Seriously, I just wish it won’t take place soon. Because I am in such a mess right now. I have a deadline to beat, a house to clean the moment I wake up, and a daughter to send to school very early in the morning, when all I want to do is wake up late, have a …

A different Christmas

It was a different Christmas, all right.  Mama’s gone, it’s just ‘us’ who celebrated it.  After a few years of spending Christmas with my in-laws, my own family spent it again with my father, my siblings, and my siblings’ families at my parents’ house in Las Pinas. For the first time, my no longer estranged husband did all the Noche Buena preparations since I had to go to work even on Christmas eve–another first for me, by the way, since I had always found a way to evade compulsory work during holidays.  I suppose it was good for him to be the one to do the food preparations and cooking all by himself… at least, my family would see that he has finally turned a new leaf.  And, I think that he indeed has.  He’s finding ways now to spend time with me and our daughters, and it’s so much easier to ask him to do something for us.  He seems eager to please us and he seems able to control his temper much better, too.  …