All posts tagged: Home

Things I miss about my mother

“Happy 72nd birthday, Nanay!” It felt a little awkward for me to see those words written on the birthday cake my eldest brother bought for our late mother. (Even though she’s no longer around, we still continue to celebrate her birthday.) I wanted to see a candle too, and the celebrant blowing that lighted candle. But neither was present. Sometimes I wonder if there will ever come a time when I would no longer miss my mother and forget her features, her mannerisms, the sound of her voice, and everything else that I know about her. Not that I hated my mother, but I am very curious how some people seem to live as if they never had a mother. In my case, there’s not a single day that I have not thought of my mama–be it voluntarily or not. Lately, I have been musing about what I should have said when I was asked–impromptu–at her funeral about the things that I would miss about her. I said a lot of things then, but nothing …

Sisters

I don’t normally pass on stories or letters that I receive via email, but I am recently realizing the value of this one so I thought I’d share it. (This is supposed to be a chain letter, sent to me by my friend Mitch. I have copied it verbatim without knowledge of its real author’s name.) It’s up to you if you would also pass it on… A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter. “Don’t forget your sisters,’ she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass.  ‘They’ll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need sisters. Remember to go places …

Slowing down

Lately, I’ve been very preoccupied with my roles as a mother and though I am guilty of not being able to submit new articles both for my blog and part-time job, I have become less severe with myself, thinking that I could only do so much. No, not a good excuse for not working hard, but I guess I’ve come to a point where I no longer want to do so many things at a time. I’ve come to realize that there’s no need for me to prove anything to anyone. I just have to embrace my duties now as a mother, wife–even if my husband is abroad–and full-time homemaker, and until I do so, I don’t think I’ll be able to perform other roles effectively. Moreover, if I manage our finances well, there’s really no need for me to work at all, or at least for financial reasons. At first, I thought that I would experience boredom if I focus on my children and other household concerns alone. On the contrary, I still always …

Looking for the perfect helper

A helper is supposed to help make your life comfortable by assisting you in getting things done. But if you’re not careful, she/he could also make your life miserable. Why I’m looking for a maid I’m a full-time mom with two young daughters, a graduate student attending a very prestigious (and expensive) university through a scholarship, a home-based worker without a maid to at least help me with the house chores, and without a husband (because he works in another country) to help me supervise, entertain, reassure, and discipline my growing up girls. And yes, I live very far from my parents; my nearest relative is my eldest brother who still won’t count as living near my area. I’ve been managing on my own by the grace of God for nearly a year now, which makes me wonder why I am looking for a helper now. My girls and I have been doing okay so far without assistance, aren’t we? Well, yes, to some extent, that is. My husband says that I get a maid to keep us company and to make sure that there’s someone who …

Mother’s Day

Yesterday, I was awakened by text messages from both fellow moms and single friends wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day. And as I went online, I realized that just about every person I know had the same message on their walls. Many of them even replaced their profile pictures with their mothers’ faces. I was wondering though, don’t they ever show appreciation toward their mothers except on Mother’s Day? I had also thought about replacing my profile picture with my mother, just like everyone else. However, I decided against it. My reason was simple. One, my mother’s gone. Two, when she was alive, I made sure she knew how much I needed and appreciated her. I don’t have to tell the whole world how much I loved her just because it’s Mother’s Day. Moreover, to my dear friends or people who know me better, my mother had also been a mother to them. They knew I need not join the bandwagon. As I went through the day, I began to think about my late mother and the influence she …

Being a mom and playing mom

The past two to three months had been the busiest months for me although not necessarily the most productive. I started working from home on a full-time basis and even received an income that was higher than I used to have when I was working outside of home. I loved my job, but as much as I hate to admit it,  that same job had cost me a lot. Way too much, in fact. I had less (quality) time with my children, I had to drop one of my graduate courses, I was always late in my submission of requirements in my remaining class, even my daughter’s grades were affected, and my children and I had become sickly. I am first and foremost a m-o-t-h-e-r. I always try to remind myself of this when I start to get busy, when I start to work only for money. Indeed, as much as my family needed the extra income, I should never forget my duties to my family, especially to my children whose father is away. With my …

Bitter or better?

September 11, 2009. I’m currently reading a Chicken Soup for the Soul edition for moms, which also happens to be a recipe book.  And, as I came across one of the stories, a line simply stuck to my mind:  “In life, you always have a choice.  You either become bitter or better.” Of course, I’d prefer to become better at any given day.  Yet, sad to say, I admit that I can’t help but give in to bitterness at times.  As I see my mother lay in bed, devoid of strength and sometimes even sanity and hope because of cancer, I can’t help but wail to God.  Why her, of all people?  Why my own mother who has always been a pillar of strength to me?  Why her who knew nothing but to give me everything that I need without expecting anything in return?  Why her who took care of me as well as my husband and daughters, especially in times of need? I wonder if it’s God’s way to spite a family member who has theorized …