All posts tagged: Nanay

Chasing cobwebs

It’s been two months since I posted a story here. It’s not that I have not been writing, but for some reason, I couldn’t get my thoughts together and couldn’t seem to find enough time to sit in front of my laptop and just write like I normally would. My head’s always full of ideas to write about, especially when I’m on the road, and a number of articles have already piled up in my drafts folder waiting to be finished. It’s been two months that I have not done much except clean the house, take care of some errands, worry about the budget, get sick and recover (right, as if I have planned on being ill!), and reminisce the past. It’s been two months of both busy and idle living. My late mother‘s birthday and second death anniversary came and went too. As both dates neared, I¬†experienced¬†deep sadness. Wishing she’s still alive, dreaming I could still embrace and kiss her, yearning to hear her voice… If only I could be with her for one …

Things I miss about my mother

“Happy 72nd birthday, Nanay!” It felt a little awkward for me to see those words written on the birthday cake my eldest brother bought for our late mother. (Even though she’s no longer around, we still continue to celebrate her birthday.) I wanted to see a candle too, and the celebrant blowing that lighted candle. But neither was present. Sometimes I wonder if there will ever come a time when I would no longer miss my mother and forget her features, her mannerisms, the sound of her voice, and everything else that I know about her. Not that I hated my mother, but I am very curious how some people seem to live as if they never had a mother. In my case, there’s not a single day that I have not thought of my mama–be it voluntarily or not. Lately, I have been musing about what I should have said when I was asked–impromptu–at her funeral about the things that I would miss about her. I said a lot of things then, but nothing …